It’s the first week of July…. I’m moving my home and studio…. boxes stacked in every corner of my apartment. Bags and bins creating towers that carry the likeness of a castles highest tower. One misplaced stone and it all comes crumbling, tumbling down.
I’ve been humming different songs a lot lately. When the sun goes down and the thick sticky air is cut by that sweet cool desert breeze, the songs fall out of my head and onto my lips.
I used to think I hated packing, and now I’m not sure if it was the packing or the recognition of the amount of items I’ve acquired in my 30 years. I’m a tchotchke girl, and one who is indefinitely fond of objects that for whatever reason, no matter how odd, bring me joy. A minimalist might cry in my apartment. And I think that’s okay. We can’t all be a breath of fresh air. Some of us are merely the lava pouring out of a freshly erupted volcano. You don’t know where we are going, and we look interesting, perhaps even beautiful… but you’d rather not be in our path. Watch if you must but don’t get too drawn in, who knows what lures in the depths of that golden red elixir.
See here’s the thing, I sat down to write a totally normal blog post, and then I started writing and it took me to the edge of a volcano. Absurd, I know. Now you might know a little of what it’s like to be inside my mind.
I’m starting this blog as a way to share more of the uncut creative side of me. Everything I present to the world is often highly curated and intentionally placed. Because as much as I am a human, I am also a brand. But as time goes on…. I’ve come to realize that the human side of me: the flaws, the quirks, the conundrums. Are all what make the curated side of what I do work. I’ve always been afraid to share those parts of me, because those…these parts of me are so incredibly raw. As hard as it is to open up this side of me, it’s also freeing. A little bit more air has entered my lungs.
Now this could all backfire, if you all think I’m crazy… and decide to never support my work again.. but I’ll take that risk. And maybe I’m writing into the void and no one’s listening anyways.
Circling back to the purpose of this blog… this post. The past few weeks I’ve been sketching into more shapes that belong in the Aurora world. Some of the shapes, are getting more complex… and I’m not entirely sure, but I think my subconscious is trying to challenge me.
I have a habit of coming up with complex carves, attempting and hitting a road block too serrated to swallow. I wouldn’t say I give up, but in the past, I have fallen prey to the lure of moving on to something else instead of pushing forward. I usually come back to these pieces after a bit of time (months… days… maybe a year) and realize the answer is right there. One has to wonder if my mind is playing tricks on me, or am I really getting better as a carver as I continue to grow. Who’s to say, who’s to say…. logically I am probably improving with every carve as it goes but you know… easier to blame my crazy brain.
However… if I am improving with practice, I think it’s high time I push through some of the more complicated carves I’ve been sketching into over the past few weeks. As a freeform carver, I go against all the rules of designing. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m a classically trained metalsmith and have a formal education in design. I also spent years designing for other brands… and the formula is simple, clean, and guarantees solid results. It’s as follows:
research —> concept —> sketch —-> design —> refine design —-> finalize design—->
spec design —-> create design —-> review product —> product revisions —> finalize product —and FIN!
It’s systematic, easy to follow, covers all the bases, and creates solid results. It drives me crazy. It’s lacks something. Something crucial —- Room for failure. Room for flow and creative resolution. And room for the design to evolve as it’s created. I guess it’s not entirely true that the system has no room failure… but if that failure isn’t resolved to perfectly fit the original concept… then it’s usually tossed. Which doesn’t work for me… because a lot of the time, I dive into carves, and it changes as I carve… not dramatically but enough so that it embraces it’s own path. And if I tossed every piece that changed at the core…. I wouldn’t have any work to share. My process would probably drive the most refined designer crazy as well. And just like it’s okay to not be a breath of fresh air, it’s okay to not fit into a box.
Anyways besides, sketching… and rambling about sketching. While my studio is closed… or more or less in transition. I have been painting to flush out any creative energy stuck in my bones. Painting isn’t necessarily something I would say I’m incredibly skilled at… but it’s part of my process. Whenever I am stuck, or indecisive or even calm, I turn to painting as a way to explore my thoughts, emotions, or concepts. There’s something really soothing about making a pristine white canvas a chaotic whirlwind of color.
One of the above paintings recently went to my lovely parents for their home. I primarily paint for myself, but it brings me joy to share my art… whether its jewelry, sculpture, or painting. I think for awhile, I had a fear of sharing my paintings. As I thought that they were an incredibly intimate window into my soul. Or so I believed… until I realized all my work is intimate as it is all an extension of myself. In college, I was constantly told if I don’t learn to separate myself from my work. That I’ll have a hard time taking critiques… but I’m not sure if that’s true.
You could insult my person and I wouldn’t care. Because I really don’t give an owls hoot if you like the way I aesthetically present myself. I am very used to not being accepted by all. You could also insult my work on it’s aesthetics, and I wouldn’t take it personally…. because it’s the concept, the soul of the work that matters to me. Plus not everyone is going to like you, understand you or the work you create, no matter how hard you try. It’s the nature of being human. But when your work does reach someone, who relates to it, loves it, embraces it … it makes it all the more special.
And on that utterly dramatic note, I am off to pack some more boxes and melt in this crazy LA sun. I wish you all a wonderful summer, tune in here and there, I’ll be posting as the thoughts come… and oddly they come often.